grocery shopping rules 101

While going grocery shopping with the children, there needs to be certain rules that one must follow in order to have a more positive experience for all parties involved. (It also helps to ensure the safety of the children from certain angry mothers...)

1-When choosing a parking spot, you must park closest to the cart corral. Not only does this bring entertainment to the children when you are unloading your grocery, but it enables you to quickly deliver the cart without too much inattentiveness to your offspring.

2-Trainning your little ones to ride on the side of the cart is acceptable, just as long as there is an equal amount of weight on both sides of the cart. Otherwise the cart will probably tip over.

3-Have your grocery list in hand and what ever you do don't give it to your baby if you want to read what is on that list, because they will invariably eat it.

4-Circle the perimeter of the store to pick up the "boring" items first: fruits, veggies, meats, etc. DO NOT give treats to the little rugrats until the end of the trip. Having them promise to be good while holding a bag of candy never works out.

5-Always be aware of where you stop your cart, if you need to price something out. For example, you need to grab cereal, do NOT stop the cart right in front of the fruit snacks as this will cause excessive commotion. Pause, if you must, stop in front of the coffee. A much better alternative. Ideally, with practice, you can learn the "walk and grab technique" which doesn't allow anytime for the children to be aware of potential treats.

6-Having stuff your pockets with corn chex from home is really handy in a pinch.

7-And lastly, to prevent all dismay and pulling out of hair, then you should leave the children at home with their father and take as long as you need to. Maybe by going grocery shopping in the next city.